Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Walter and Wonda's Wild Wendover Weekend Part 1.

For weeks now, Walter and Wonda had been looking forward to their upcoming weekend getaway to Wendover. On that Friday afternoon, Wanda waited patiently on her floral print couch for her Walter to arrive home. Visions of luxury, glamour, and thrill floated through her mind. She had heard so many lovely things.

At 5:52 Walter opened the front door. He had had a hard time focusing on his duties at work though out the day. By 6:13, the Pontiac was packed and they were pulling out of the drive way. Chasing the setting sun Walter and Wonda drove west. Forty-seven minutes after passing Tooele, Wanda reached over the center console and took Walters hand. She leaned over, and nuzzled his shoulder. "What an Adventure!", she thought.

In what only seemed like a few moments later, Walter and Wonda turned the last bend, and saw the lights of Wendover directly in front of them. "This is It." Walter thought to himself. Upon arriving at their Hotel, Walter thought that he would impress his Wonda, and pulled into the Valet Parking lane. "Oh how lovely", Wonda sputtered.

As Walter and Wonda stood at the door to their suite, Walter fumbled with the electronic key. First, he put it in backwards, then upside down. On the third try, the green light flashed, and an electronic gear sounded in the door. Fearing they might miss their chance, Walter and Wonda depressed the handle, and stormed through the door.

Their room was the most lovely thing they had ever seen. The walls were a faded rose. The bed was a shinning turquoise. And the bathroom had a jet tub. "Oh My!" Wanda whispered as she examined the bottle of bubble bath that sat just to the left of the tub.

After changing their clothes, Walter and Wonda were in the elevator flying just under the speed of sound to the first floor. Wonda let out a rather loud "Oooo" as she held on to Walter's arm. Walter not expecting the sudden lung of Wonda fell right off balance, and he fell right into the mirror behind him.

After letting their ears pop, and getting their bearings, Walter and Wonda exited the elevator, walked towards the neon sign illuminating the word Buffet.

To Be Continued. . .

Sunday, December 27, 2009

The Radio in the Toyota Camery.

The Adventures of the Hess Boys. Vol 1.


In 1989 my family traded in our old Toyota van, and bought a 1989 Toyota Camry from Larry H. Miller Toyota. It was maroon, and it was a new. Not the same "new" that we had had before where a Protestant family from Vernal had traded in their 1984 Oldsmobile station wagon, but brand new. I think it had 32 miles on it when we took it for our test drive. My dad loved this car. He had been promoted to a management position at his work, and I think my parents thought of this car has his reward. My dad was and is a very hard worker. My brothers and I were disappointed that we would not have our gray van anymore. In all honesty, I think we were a little embarrassed by the Pontiac station wagon we would now be chauffeured around Weber County in.

My dad loved his car. I think he felt like he had finally made it by driving his new car. Soon after the car was purchased, my dad was transferred to Salt Lake City, and so began the commuting years for my dad. They lasted for over 10 years. My dad's alarm clock would go off Monday thru Friday at 5:20 am. He would hop in the shower, eat a quick breakfast, and be out the door by 6:00 am to ensure his arrival at West Valley UPS Hub by 7:00 am. My dad would work hard all day, and try to be home between 6:45 and 7:30. I remember that the first thing my parents would do was kiss each other in the entry way. Being a child I thought this was yucky and I hated it. Now looking back I miss it more than words can tell. . . But I digress.

The Radio. My dad's new 1989 Toyota Camry came with an amazing stereo. My brothers and I loved this stereo. One day, the five of us were sitting in the Camry to church. And the idea struck. That night, after everyone had gone to bed, I snuck down to the garage, turned the car on, but did not start the transmission. With my left index finger firmly planted in my left ear, I turned the radio on as loud as it would with my right hand, and turned off the car. Laughing up the two stairs to the kitchen for the garage, I placed the Camry keys back on the kitchen counter where I found them minutes before. I chucked too myself all the way up to my bed room. It took me almost an hour to fall asleep. I eventually did fall asleep, and morning came. I waited in anticipation all day for my dad to return that night. 6:00, 6:23, 6:48, and finally at 7:05 my dad walked in the door, kissed my mom, and went about his regular evening routine.

Ugh! I was so disappointed. I thought for sure he would have found this as hilarious as I did. Never being one to back down from a battle, I set up my game plan to repeat my ingenious joke. I waited for a little over two weeks. And followed the same routine as I had before. That night, nothing. That was it. THIS WAS WAR! The next Friday morning, I repeated my devious plan. I tip toed up the stairs, and forced my self to go to sleep.

Later that morning, I woke up to my dad sneezing his head off and coughing every 8 to 12 seconds. My dad had a wicked cold. He did not go to work that day. That weekend was pretty uneventful. Dad was sick, mom was sick of dad being sick, and the Hess boys were out making havoc for the neighborhood. Sunday morning came, and we were all drawn to the call of the church organ. Dad had decided that he was well enough to go to church. We all go into the garage and my dad walked to the Camry. I'd had such a great weekend, I totally forgot about the status of the radio. My dad sat in the drivers seat, my mom in the passengers. Breaking from tradition, I sat in the middle seat with Adam behind my mom, and Jared behind my Dad. The last open door had slammed shut, and my dad reached for the ignition. The car turned over quickly as Garth Brooks came screaming over the stereo. I'd never seen such a sight. My father hit his head on top of the car he jumped so high. My mother's carefully planned primary lesson went flying into the windshield. Adam's arm flew across the car and hit me in the stomach, and Jared looked on the verge of tears.

The Hess family sat in the Toyota in shock for almost a full minute. I carefully scanned the faces of my family. I thought it was hilarious. My brothers seemed amused, and my parents faces were totally blank. Then my dad put the car in reverse, and off we went.

This still makes me laugh to this day.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

My First Blog / Pioneer Day.

So, I finally joined the band wagon of blogging. It's actually something that I've wanted to do for a long time, but have never got around to it.
I'm 27 years old. I was born on the 24th of July in 1981. For those outside the Jello Belt, that is Pioneer Day. This is a pretty big deal in Utah. This day is celebrated with a huge parade, fireworks, bbq's, and lots of community events. My parents told me that these events were just for me. IT WAS MY DAY!!! I always thought that I must be something special for everyone to celebrate my day. I can remember being in 4th grade, and being asked to be on a float in the big parade on Washington Ave. "Finally", I thought. "They finally all get that it's ok for me to be the center of the parade." So I was on the float, and loved every minute of it. The float was for the Roy South Stake Float. Finally, when I was about ten or eleven, my parents let me know that the celebrations were for Pioneer Day, and not for me. I was so upset. I could not believe it. I was never that upset that my parents lied to me, but the realization that It wasnt for me.

This story is a huge indicator of who I am. I often think that everything is about me. I've been working for twenty years on this. I dont like when people tell me things that are not true. Tell it to met straight.

I hope to post my feelings and thoughts on this blog often.

Enjoy.